Why Hire a Doula?
Why hire a doula? If you’re on the fence about hiring a doula, then this post is for you. I too was on the fence about hiring a doula with my first baby, but the second time around, I had no hesitation.
The world of pregnancy, labor, childbirth and postpartum can be filled with so many joys, anxieties, discomforts, pain, excitements, uncertainty, ups and downs, and great unknowns. This is why I love the world of birth. The journey into birthing a fellow human is one of the great sacred acts and mysteries of our life experience. Thus, you deserve to have all the support, care and witness during this time frame, from people you trust, who prioritize your care.
A doula above all else is a witness. A witness to you, your journey, your story, your birthing time. A doula is also a highly trained birth professional and caregiver whose sole job is to support YOU, the mama or birthing person, your baby, and your family.
Many of us think that our doctor or our midwife will be enough of a support person. However, given the client load of most care providers- whether a home birth or birth center midwife, a nurse midwife in a hospital, or an obstetrician/gynecologist working in a hospital, it’s often not feasible for them to provide you with a deep and continous model of care that allows you to feel seen and heard from pregnancy through your initial postpartum.
This is where a doula comes in.
What are the pillars of doula support?
“A doula can provide labor support via the four pillars of labor support. In the textbook Best Practices in Midwifery, the author describes three pillars of labor support as emotional support, physical support, and advocacy. In the book Optimal Care in Childbirth, informational support is also listed as a pillar of support.” writes Dr. Rebecca Dekker of Evidence Based Birth.
I’m adding a 5th pillar of support to this list (which might make for a wonky building, but we’ll go with pillars) and that is the pillar of spiritual support.
Let’s go over a little of what each of these pillars can look like:
Emotional Support - due pregnancy hormones, and then the shift from pregnancy back to postpartum, hormonal surges, combined with the normal feelings of joy, nervousness, anticipation, anxiety, and expectation around, having a care provider who can meet you and hold space for you is really crucial. Emotional support can include things like:
Guided meditations to help you feel centered
Deep listening sessions
Reassuring and affirming language that centers your emotions
During labor emotional support could look like guided breath work, supportive talk, and reassuring gestures
Facilitating important relational changes and parenting conversations
Physical Support - typically physical support is offered as a comfort measure during labor, but I am happy to provide physical support to my clients in prenatal visits, and is part of my postpartum care packages as well. This can look like:
Hip squeezes during labor
Being held on to while moving through a contraction
A hand to hold and squeeze
Head, neck, shoulder rubs at any time
Supporting you in a squat or partial knee bend
Feet and hand massage
Informational Support- I am a geek for reading research about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. Should you forgo antibiotics in labor because you tested positive for Group B Strep….. Maybe… let me share you with you what I’ve read and let you decide. Your doctor says you need to be induced but you’re not sure if this is a good idea? Why or why? Let’s explore together. I will provide you with as much information that I can that you would like, help you find answers if I am unable to offer them to you. This way you can make informed decisions for you and your family.
Advocacy- As your doula, my job is to take care of you. Sometimes, this means, that I will speak up on your behalf. Let’s say you are in a middle of a particularly intense contraction when a nurse burst in the door and flips on a bright overhead light or a doctor threatens you with a cesarean even though all vitals are good but your labor is just taking a while. A person in labor is vulnerable, and while ultimately we are each responsible for ourselves, we all need to have someone have our back from time to time. A doula not only guards the space, but advocates for you when/if you are unable, as well as your partner if need be. I want you to feel supported and listened too above all else, and ultimately BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE, but sometimes this is not feasible. The deeper you go into labor the more labor becomes almost a type of altered state that requires all of your focus. It’s less than ideal to be bumped out of deep focus labor land because a doctor interrupts you to give you an unnecessary cervical dilation check.
Spiritual Support - I am a spiritual person who believes in magic, dream work, talking to plants, making offerings, talking to our dead, and that the veils between the worlds of Earth and the Spirit/Ancestor realms are incredibly thin during labor and for the first 40 days postpartum. Ritual and spiritual care are crucial parts of the human experience that often go missing in our science loving, dominant North American world view. I am happy to craft some Earth and Heart centered rituals to care for your spirit. And/or if you have spiritual, cultural and/or religious practices that are dear to you, please let me know! I’d love to help weave those into your care plan. However, by no means does spiritual and ritual care have to be part of our relationship, if this is not something that interests you.
“Sure, that all sounds nice,” you may be thinking, “but can’t my husband, doctor, friend, midwife, nurse do all that?”
Well… yes and no…. Your primary care provider will provide a certain kind of support yes, but since they often have outside conflicting interests- like hospital policy or insurance coverage, there are limits to their care models. Depending on where you give birth, you might be in a situation where your doctor is on call, which means you have no idea what doctor you will be working with! Partners are often surprised and unprepared by the vulnerability and intensity of birth, and may be feeling pretty nervous themselves if they are a first time parent. Assembling a care team that YOU (and your partner if you have one) feel good should be baseline in preparation for your birthing time.
This is why that old cliche saying, “it takes a village” to raise children, also applies to your birth team. Consider a doula one of many care providers in your village, all coming together to support you in your birth and postpartum time.
Am I the doula for you? Want to chat more about working together? Email me and let’s set up a phone date! Initial 30- 60 minute conversations are always free.
